| 
								
                                
                                Chapter 54. APPLYING FOR JOBS 
								
                                Sample Resumes, Cover 
                                Letter,and Personal Statements
 
 
--- 
      
Introduction 
  All samples in 
  WritingforCollege.org's
  chapters are  by students, unless otherwise noted.  
  They are examples of "A" level undergraduate writing or entry-level 
  graduate or 
  professional work.  If more than one sample is provided, be sure to read 
  all samples.  Then compare each to what the "Basics" section says for 
  this type of paper.   
  If you do not have time to read every sample 
  below, word for word, then use a form of skim reading: read the entire 
  introduction and conclusion paragraph of a sample, and then read just the 
  first and last sentence of all the other paragraphs in the sample.  This 
  method of skimming often provides an understanding of the basic contents and 
  of the paper's form or structure.  Another method of faster reading is to 
  choose just one or two of the samples that are most like the paper you will be 
  required to write; then read, either fully or using skim reading as described 
  here. 
  Unless otherwise noted, sample papers do not 
  necessarily meet all requirements an individual instructor or professional 
  supervisor may have: ask your instructor or supervisor.  In addition, the 
  samples are single spaced to save room.  However, a proper manuscript given to an 
  instructor or supervisor normally should be double spaced with margins set at 
  or close to 1" unless another format has been requested. 
  The authors of all sample student papers in this 
  Web site have given their permission in writing to have their work included in 
  
  WritingforCollege.org.  All samples remain copyrighted by their 
  original authors.  Other than showing it on this website, none should be 
  used without the explicit permission of the author.  
      
    
      | 
      
        | 
 Sample One: Resume by 
 Psychology Specialist |  
  SPECIAL NOTES: This strong, detailed resume was developed 
  for getting a job in psychology with just a bachelor's degree.  It is 
  brief (one page) and to the point.  It does not list all of the 
  candidate's job experiences, just those that are strongest--and are strongly 
  related specifically to the field of psychology.  (Using a second major, 
  in English, she developed an entirely different resume just for looking for 
  tutoring jobs in English/literacy.)  Since writing this, she has gone on 
  to a PhD program in psychology.  
  Her personal contact information has been removed 
  for privacy.  
  NOTE: The formatting for this has been changed to fit this web 
  page.  Initially, she used what is sometimes called a "two-column" 
  method: in a narrow left column, she had her name and address, with nothing 
  but white space under it; then she had a vertical line separating the two 
  columns; and finally, her wider, right-hand column gave the details of her 
  resume, as below.  The purpose of the "two-column" resume is to narrow 
  the length of the resume's lines, which, according to research, makes it 
  easier and faster for readers to read--as in newspaper columns. 
								
                                
                                Tamara C. Hill   
                                
																 
								
                                [Street Address]    
																 
								
                                Minneapolis, Minnesota 55403   
                                
																 
								
                                [Phone Number]    
																 
								
                                [Email]    
                                                                 
                                                                  
                                                                    | 
                                                                    
                                                                    
                                                                    Education |  
                                                                    | 
                                                                    
                                                                    
                                                                    
                                                                    University 
                                                                    of Minnesota 
                                                                    – Twin 
                                                                    Cities |   |  
                                                                    | 
                                                                    
                                                                    
                                                                    
                                                                    College of 
                                                                    Liberal Arts | 
                                                                    
                                                                    
                                                                    Graduated 
                                                                    Dec. 2011 |  
                                                                    | 
                                                                    
                                                                    · Bachelor 
                                                                    of Arts, 
                                                                    Psychology 
                                                                    and English 
                                                                    major 
                                                                    
                                                                    ·
                                                                    
                                                                    
                                                                    GPA 3.67 
                                                                    
                                                                    · Dean’s 
                                                                    List 
                                                                     
                                                                    
                                                                    · Independent 
                                                                    research and 
                                                                    studies 
 | 
                                                                    
                                                                    
                                                                    Sept. 
                                                                    2009-Dec. 
                                                                    2011 |  
                                                                    | 
                                                                    
                                                                    
                                                                    
                                                                    Inver Hills 
                                                                    Community 
                                                                    College | 
                                                                    
                                                                    
                                                                    Inver Grove 
                                                                    Heights, Mn |  
                                                                    | 
                                                                    
                                                                    · Associate 
                                                                    of Arts
                                                                    
                                                                     
                                                                    
                                                                    · GPA 
                                                                    3.63 | 
                                                                    
                                                                    
                                                                    Graduated 
                                                                    May 2007 
                                                                    
                                                                    
                                                                    Aug. 
                                                                    2005-May 
                                                                    2007 |  
                                                                    | 
                                                                    
                                                                    · Phi 
                                                                    Theta Kappa 
                                                                    member | 
                                                                    
                                                                    
                                                                      |  
                                                                    | 
                                                                    
                                                                    · Gay-Straight-Alliance 
                                                                    Club member 
                                                                    and 
                                                                    treasurer |  
                                                                    | 
                                                                    
                                                                    
                                                                      |  
                                                                    | 
                                                                    
                                                                    
                                                                    Professional 
                                                                    Development/Volunteer 
                                                                    Experiences |  
                                                                    | 
                                                                    
                                                                    
                                                                    
                                                                    Neighborhood 
                                                                    Involvement 
                                                                    Program | 
                                                                    
                                                                    
                                                                    Minneapolis, 
                                                                    Mn |  
                                                                    | 
                                                                    
                                                                    
                                                                    
                                                                     Rape and 
                                                                    Sexual Abuse 
                                                                    Center 
                                                                    Counselor | 
                                                                    
                                                                    
                                                                    Sept. 
                                                                    2011-Present |  
                                                                    | 
                                                                    
                                                                    
                                                                    · Alleviate 
                                                                    a multitude 
                                                                    of crisis 
                                                                    situations 
                                                                    ranging from 
                                                                    individual 
                                                                    to familial 
                                                                    or 
                                                                    systemic-based 
                                                                    issues 
                                                                    
                                                                    
                                                                    · Perform 
                                                                    client 
                                                                    intakes for 
                                                                    mental 
                                                                    health 
                                                                    programs and 
                                                                    therapists 
                                                                    
                                                                    
                                                                    · Extensive 
                                                                    knowledge of 
                                                                    community 
                                                                    resources 
                                                                    and have 
                                                                    utilized 
                                                                    those 
                                                                    resources to 
                                                                    connect my 
                                                                    clients with 
                                                                    the 
                                                                    appropriate 
                                                                    intervention 
                                                                    and care 
                                                                    
                                                                    
                                                                    · One 
                                                                    hour of 
                                                                    weekly 
                                                                    supervision 
                                                                    by a M.A. 
                                                                    level 
                                                                    psychologist | 
                                                                    
                                                                    
                                                                      |  
                                                                  
                                                                  
                                                                    | 
                                                                    
                                                                    
                                                                    Minnesota 
                                                                    Department 
                                                                    of 
                                                                    Corrections
                                                                    
                                                                     | 
                                                                    
                                                                    St. Paul, Mn |  
                                                                    | 
                                                                    
                                                                    
                                                                    MnCOSA 
                                                                    support 
                                                                    group | 
                                                                    
                                                                    Oct. 
                                                                    2011-Present |  
                                                                    | 
                                                                    
                                                                    · Useful 
                                                                    insight into 
                                                                    the process 
                                                                    of 
                                                                    corrections 
                                                                    with an 
                                                                    aspect 
                                                                    of mental 
                                                                    health 
                                                                    
                                                                    · Weekly 
                                                                    support 
                                                                    group 
                                                                    meetings 
                                                                    with sexual 
                                                                    offender 
                                                                    offer  
                                                                    
                                                                    
                                                                              
                                                                    
                                                                    
                                                                    experience 
                                                                    with group 
                                                                    therapy
 |  
                                                                    | 
                                                                    
                                                                    
                                                                    KBD 
                                                                    Investments
                                                                    
                                                                     | 
                                                                    
                                                                    St. Paul, Mn |  
                                                                    | 
                                                                    
                                                                    
                                                                    Community 
                                                                    Coordinator
                                                                    
                                                                     | 
                                                                    
                                                                    Dec. 
                                                                    2010-Present |  
                                                                    | 
                                                                    
                                                                    · Coordinate 
                                                                    community 
                                                                    engagement 
                                                                    plan for low 
                                                                    income neighborhoods 
                                                                    and minority 
                                                                    populations
 
                                                                    
                                                                    · Experience 
                                                                    lowered 
                                                                    rates of 
                                                                    crime and 
                                                                    domestic 
                                                                    abuse within
                                                                    housing 
                                                                    units
 
                                                                             
                                                                     |  
                                                                    | 
                                                                    
                                                                    
                                                                    CommonBond | 
                                                                    
                                                                    Minneapolis, 
                                                                    Mn |  
                                                                    | 
                                                                    
                                                                    
                                                                    English as a 
                                                                    Second 
                                                                    Language 
                                                                    Adult Tutor | 
                                                                    
                                                                    Sept. 
                                                                    2010-Jan. 
                                                                    2011 |  
                                                                    | 
                                                                    
                                                                    · One-on-one 
                                                                    and group 
                                                                    support for 
                                                                    individuals 
                                                                    with a 
                                                                    paucity of resources
 
                                                                    
                                                                    · Had 
                                                                    experience 
                                                                    working with 
                                                                    a wide 
                                                                    variety of 
                                                                    literacy levels as 
                                                                    well as 
                                                                    cultural 
                                                                    experiences 
                                                                    (ESL 
                                                                    Students)
 
                                                                          
                                                                     |  
                                                                    | 
                                                                    
                                                                    
                                                                    One Village 
                                                                    Partners | 
                                                                    
                                                                    Minneapolis, 
                                                                    Mn |  
                                                                    | 
                                                                    
                                                                    
                                                                    Education 
                                                                    Committee 
                                                                    and 
                                                                    Fundraising 
                                                                    Committee
                                                                    
                                                                     | 
                                                                    
                                                                    July 
                                                                    2008-Aug. 
                                                                    2009 |  
                                                                    | 
                                                                    
                                                                    · Supervised 
                                                                    process for 
                                                                    teacher’s 
                                                                    applications 
                                                                    for 
                                                                    government 
                                                                    payroll | 
                                                                    
                                                                    Sierra 
                                                                    Leone, 
                                                                    Africa |  
                                                                    | 
                                                                    
                                                                    · Managed 
                                                                    the 
                                                                    correspondence 
                                                                    between 
                                                                    three 
                                                                    village 
                                                                    schools | 
                                                                    
                                                                    May 
                                                                    2009-June 
                                                                    2009 |  
                                                                    | 
                                                                    
                                                                    · Alleviated 
                                                                    crisis and 
                                                                    systemic 
                                                                    issues 
                                                                    within the 
                                                                    community 
                                                                    and continued 
                                                                    communication 
                                                                    via 
                                                                    telephone 
                                                                    conferencing
 |  
                                                                    | 
                                                                    
                                                                    
                                                                    
                                                                       
                                                                    
                                                                    
                                                                     |  
                                                                    | 
                                                                    
                                                                    
                                                                    Research 
                                                                    Experience |  
                                                                    | 
                                                                    
                                                                    
                                                                    Cognitive 
                                                                    Neuropsychology 
                                                                    Lab – 
                                                                    University 
                                                                    of Minnesota 
                                                                    
                                                                    
                                                                    Research 
                                                                    Assistant 
                                                                    
 | 
                                                                    
                                                                    May 
                                                                    2010-Dec. 
                                                                    2010 |  
                                                                    | 
                                                                    
                                                                    
                                                                    Undergraduate 
                                                                    Presentations |  
                                                                    | 
                                                                    
                                                                    
                                                                    University 
                                                                    of Minnesota 
                                                                    – 
                                                                    Undergraduate 
                                                                    English 
                                                                    Conf. 
                                                                    
                                                                    
                                                                    Metro State 
                                                                    University – 
                                                                    Genocide 
                                                                    Conference
 | 
                                                                    
                                                                    April 2011 
                                                                    
                                                                    Nov. 2006
                                                                     |  
                                                                    | 
                                                                    
                                                                    
                                                                    Certifications |  
                                                                    | 
                                                                    
                                                                    
                                                                    Collaborative 
                                                                    Internal 
                                                                    Review 
                                                                    Board  (IRB) 
                                                                    Training 
                                                                    
                                                                    
                                                                    Minnesota 
                                                                    Literacy 
                                                                    Council | 
                                                                    
                                                                    
                                                                    CITI 
                                                                    certification 
                                                                    
                                                                    
                                                                    ESL Curr. 
                                                                    Develop. |  
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      | 
        | 
 Sample Two: 
  
  
  
      Resume by Education/Health Care Professional |  
  SPECIAL NOTES: This is an equally strong resume--in 
  slightly different form than the one above--by a professional education and 
  health care coordinator at the University of Minnesota. Formatting, 
  which originally was for an 8.5" by 11" page in MS Word, has been changed 
  to the size and format of this web page. Her personal contact information has 
  been removed for privacy.  
 
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                NICKI L. BLACK[Street Address] 
                                                                
                                                                · 
                                                                Bloomington, MN 
                                                                55437 
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                · 
                                                                [Phone Number]
 [Email Address]
 
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                EDUCATION 
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                University 
                                                                of Minnesota 
                                                                – Twin Cities, 
                                                                Minneapolis, MN
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                M.A., Counseling 
                                                                and Student 
                                                                Personnel 
                                                                Psychology, May 
                                                                2004 
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                Overall G.P.A.: 
                                                                4.00/4.00 
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                University 
                                                                of Minnesota – 
                                                                Twin Cities, 
                                                                Minneapolis, 
                                                                MN           
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                 
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                B.A., Speech and 
                                                                Language 
                                                                Pathology, May 
                                                                2000                          
                                                                
                                                                 
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                Overall G.P.A.: 
                                                                4.00/4.00 
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                PROFESSIONAL 
                                                                EXPERIENCE
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                           
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                University of 
                                                                Minnesota – Twin 
                                                                Cities, 
                                                                Minneapolis, MN
                                                                
                                                                 
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                           
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                Coordinator, 
                                                                Admissions and 
                                                                Diversity, 
                                                                School of 
                                                                Dentistry, February 
                                                                2007-Present.  
                                                                Responsibilities:
 
                                                                
                                                                ·    
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                Manage the 
                                                                recruitment and 
                                                                admissions 
                                                                process for the 
                                                                Doctor of Dental 
                                                                Surgery (DDS) 
                                                                and Bachelor of 
                                                                Science in 
                                                                Dental Hygiene 
                                                                (DH) Programs.
                                                                
                                                                 
                                                                
                                                                ·    
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                Advise 
                                                                traditional, 
                                                                non-traditional, 
                                                                underrepresented 
                                                                minority, first 
                                                                generation, and 
                                                                low-income 
                                                                students about 
                                                                dental careers, 
                                                                job placement, 
                                                                and admissions. 
                                                                
                                                                ·    
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                Process 
                                                                financial 
                                                                transactions for 
                                                                the office using 
                                                                the Enterprise 
                                                                Financial 
                                                                System. 
                                                                
                                                                ·    
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                Prepare detailed 
                                                                admissions 
                                                                statistics for 
                                                                use in tracking 
                                                                application 
                                                                trends. 
                                                                
                                                                ·    
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                Edit and 
                                                                maintain the 
                                                                admissions web 
                                                                sites for the 
                                                                DDS and DH 
                                                                programs. 
                                                                
                                                                ·    
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                Create marketing 
                                                                materials 
                                                                designed to 
                                                                attract high 
                                                                quality 
                                                                candidates to 
                                                                the school’s 
                                                                programs. 
                                                                
                                                                ·    
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                Write various 
                                                                high-level 
                                                                communications 
                                                                to students, 
                                                                faculty, 
                                                                administrators, 
                                                                and dental 
                                                                professionals. 
                                                                
                                                                ·    
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                Facilitate an 
                                                                ethics and 
                                                                professionalism 
                                                                course for first 
                                                                year dental 
                                                                students. 
                                                                
                                                                ·    
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                Counsel 
                                                                applicants 
                                                                who’ve been 
                                                                denied admission 
                                                                to the School of 
                                                                Dentistry and 
                                                                are seeking 
                                                                feedback. 
                                                                
                                                                ·    
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                Oversee the peer 
                                                                mentor program, 
                                                                an effective 
                                                                tool to help 
                                                                entering 
                                                                students make a 
                                                                successful 
                                                                transition into 
                                                                their program.
                                                                
                                                                 
                                                                
                                                                ·    
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                Served as 
                                                                co-investigator 
                                                                in a study to 
                                                                determine ways 
                                                                to strengthen a 
                                                                peer mentorship 
                                                                program to 
                                                                better serve 
                                                                entering 
                                                                students and 
                                                                increase 
                                                                retention. 
                                                                
                                                                 
                                                                
                                                                ·    
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                Select and train 
                                                                DDS students to 
                                                                serve as 
                                                                Ambassadors and 
                                                                represent the 
                                                                School of 
                                                                Dentistry at 
                                                                recruitment 
                                                                fairs and 
                                                                events. 
                                                                
                                                                ·    
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                Present 
                                                                admissions and 
                                                                career 
                                                                information 
                                                                sessions to 
                                                                prospective 
                                                                students several 
                                                                times per month. 
                                                                
                                                                ·    
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                Collaborate with 
                                                                financial aid 
                                                                officer to 
                                                                ensure students 
                                                                understand the 
                                                                options for 
                                                                paying for their 
                                                                education and 
                                                                how to be 
                                                                fiscally 
                                                                responsible. 
                                                                
                                                                ·    
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                Organize and 
                                                                host interview 
                                                                days for 
                                                                applicants and 
                                                                oversee other 
                                                                large-scale 
                                                                School of 
                                                                Dentistry events 
                                                                (orientation, 
                                                                recruitment 
                                                                fairs, etc.). 
                                                                
                                                                ·    
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                Interview 
                                                                candidates for 
                                                                the DDS Program 
                                                                and provide 
                                                                feedback to the 
                                                                Admissions 
                                                                Committee.
                                                                
                                                                 
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                Registrar and 
                                                                Advising 
                                                                Manager, Carlson 
                                                                School of 
                                                                Management, July 
                                                                2004-February 
                                                                2007:
 
                                                                
                                                                · 
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                   Provided 
                                                                program 
                                                                advisement to 
                                                                800 Part-Time 
                                                                Master of 
                                                                Business 
                                                                Administration 
                                                                (MBA) students. 
                                                                
                                                                · 
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                   Addressed 
                                                                student 
                                                                inquiries 
                                                                regarding 
                                                                academic status 
                                                                in program, 
                                                                professional 
                                                                portfolios, 
                                                                degree 
                                                                clearance, 
                                                                course 
                                                                selection, 
                                                                course waivers, 
                                                                and taking 
                                                                courses outside 
                                                                the program. 
                                                                
                                                                ·    
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                Trained new MBA 
                                                                students in how 
                                                                to use various 
                                                                tools on the 
                                                                Part-Time MBA 
                                                                and University 
                                                                of Minnesota web 
                                                                sites.    
                                                                
                                                                ·    
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                Hosted MBA 
                                                                professional 
                                                                portfolio 
                                                                information 
                                                                sessions. 
                                                                
                                                                ·    
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                Maintained and 
                                                                developed the 
                                                                current student 
                                                                web site for the 
                                                                Part-Time MBA 
                                                                program. 
                                                                
                                                                ·    
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                Developed 
                                                                information on 
                                                                the Part-Time 
                                                                MBA web site 
                                                                that marketed 
                                                                the Carlson 
                                                                School’s 
                                                                diversity 
                                                                initiatives. 
                                                                
                                                                ·    
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                Collaborated 
                                                                with the Carlson 
                                                                School’s 
                                                                Marketing 
                                                                Services team to 
                                                                develop new 
                                                                materials to 
                                                                promote the 
                                                                services offered 
                                                                by the Part-Time 
                                                                MBA program to 
                                                                its students.
                                                                
                                                                 
                                                                
                                                                · 
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                   Managed the 
                                                                Carlson Company 
                                                                Scholarship 
                                                                funds for 
                                                                Part-Time MBA 
                                                                students. 
                                                                
                                                                · 
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                   Teamed with 
                                                                other Carlson 
                                                                School staff to 
                                                                plan and execute 
                                                                the annual 
                                                                graduation 
                                                                commencement and 
                                                                orientation. 
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                Graduate Student 
                                                                Academic 
                                                                Counselor, 
                                                                General College,June 2003-July 
                                                                2004
 
                                                                
                                                                · 
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                   Served as an 
                                                                academic 
                                                                counselor to 100 
                                                                undergraduates 
                                                                from culturally 
                                                                and 
                                                                socioeconomically 
                                                                diverse 
                                                                backgrounds. 
                                                                
                                                                · 
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                   Developed an 
                                                                understanding of 
                                                                how academic and 
                                                                non-academic 
                                                                factors can 
                                                                affect student 
                                                                performance and 
                                                                used holistic 
                                                                advising 
                                                                approach with 
                                                                students. 
                                                                 
                                                                
                                                                · 
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                   Presented 
                                                                information to 
                                                                students 
                                                                regarding 
                                                                transfer, 
                                                                degree, and 
                                                                career planning.
                                                                
                                                                 
                                                                
                                                                · 
                                                                
                                                                Referred 
                                                                students to 
                                                                various 
                                                                resources as 
                                                                appropriate, 
                                                                including Disability 
                                                                Services and 
                                                                University
 Counseling 
                                                                and Consulting 
                                                                Services.
 
                                                                
                                                                · 
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                   Coordinated 
                                                                new student 
                                                                orientation and 
                                                                registration. 
                                                                
                                                                 
                                                                
                                                                · 
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                   Utilized 
                                                                effective 
                                                                retention 
                                                                interventions 
                                                                with high-risk 
                                                                students. 
                                                                 
                                                                
                                                                · 
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                   Advised 
                                                                students on 
                                                                academic 
                                                                probation and 
                                                                suspension. 
                                                                
                                                                · 
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                   Addressed 
                                                                unique advising 
                                                                needs of student 
                                                                athletes. 
                                                                 
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                Student Support 
                                                                Services 
                                                                Assistant, 
                                                                School of 
                                                                Dentistry, November 
                                                                2000-March 2003
 
                                                                
                                                                · 
                                                                  Advised/counseled 
                                                                pre-dental 
                                                                students 
                                                                individually and 
                                                                in groups 
                                                                regarding their 
                                                                academic and 
                                                                career plans.
 
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                           
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                · 
                                                                  Recruited 
                                                                prospective 
                                                                dental students 
                                                                at 
                                                                college/career 
                                                                fairs. 
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                           
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                · 
                                                                  Processed over 
                                                                600 dental 
                                                                school 
                                                                applications per 
                                                                application 
                                                                cycle. 
                                                                
                                                                · 
                                                                  Provided 
                                                                presentation of 
                                                                dental career 
                                                                information to 
                                                                groups of 
                                                                prospective 
                                                                students.
 
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                ·   Organized 
                                                                orientation 
                                                                sessions and 
                                                                graduation 
                                                                ceremony for 
                                                                dentistry and 
                                                                dental hygiene 
                                                                students.
 
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                COMPUTER SKILLS 
                                                                
                                                                
                                                                Proficient in 
                                                                the use of 
                                                                Excel, Word, 
                                                                Access, Power 
                                                                Point, 
                                                                PeopleSoft, 
                                                                Enterprise 
                                                                Financial 
                                                                System, Moodle, 
                                                                email, online 
                                                                calendaring 
                                                                systems, web 
                                                                content 
                                                                management 
                                                                systems, 
                                                                Macintosh, PC, 
                                                                and more. 
--- 
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      | 
      
        | 
    Sample Three-A: Application Letter #1 |  
SPECIAL NOTES: The following is the printed portion of the 
application letter I used to gain my current position in 2001.  However, I 
have added photos to it—as I might do if I were applying now. --Richard Jewell 
                                                                
                                                                --- August 
                                                                23, 2012  
                                                                
                                                                                                                                        
                                                                       January 
                                                                26, 2001 
                                                                
                                                                Search Committee 
                                                                in EnglishInver Hills 
                                                                Community 
                                                                College
 Inver Grove 
                                                                Heights, 
                                                                Minnesota
 
                                                                
                                                                To members of 
                                                                the search 
                                                                committee: 
                                                                
                                                                        I am interested 
                                                                in your 
                                                                full-time, 
                                                                permanent 
                                                                position in 
                                                                English.  I 
                                                                have quite a bit 
                                                                of experience in 
                                                                teaching 
                                                                English, and I 
                                                                deeply enjoy it.  
                                                                I also have a 
                                                                strong 
                                                                background in 
                                                                working with 
                                                                diverse 
                                                                cultures, 
                                                                writing across 
                                                                the curriculum, 
                                                                and computer 
                                                                technologies.   
                                                                        I would like to 
                                                                start by 
                                                                describing a 
                                                                typical day in 
                                                                one of my 
                                                                classrooms in 
                                                                "freshman comp" 
                                                                or developmental 
                                                                writing.  I 
                                                                try to arrive at 
                                                                least five 
                                                                minutes  
                                                                  
                                                                    | 
                                                                    
                                                                    early.  
                                                                    When I enter 
                                                                    the 
                                                                    classroom, I 
                                                                    say "good 
                                                                    morning" to 
                                                                    those 
                                                                    already 
                                                                    there.  
                                                                    If students 
                                                                    have not 
                                                                    already 
                                                                    created a 
                                                                    large circle 
                                                                    with their 
                                                                    chairs, I 
                                                                    ask them to 
                                                                    do so.  
                                                                    As I lay out 
                                                                    my papers, 
                                                                    typically 
                                                                    one or two 
                                                                    students 
                                                                    will come to 
                                                                    me and ask 
                                                                    questions, 
                                                                    which I 
                                                                    always am 
                                                                    glad to 
                                                                    answer.  
                                                                    When the 
                                                                    class 
                                                                    begins, if 
                                                                    it is the 
                                                                    first or 
                                                                    last day of 
                                                                    the week, I 
                                                                    will very 
                                                                    briefly
                                                                     | 
                                                                      
                                                                    
                                                                    
                                                                    My students 
                                                                    working in 
                                                                    pairs |  
                                                                
                                                                review what is 
                                                                due during that 
                                                                week or the 
                                                                next, and I’ll 
                                                                ask if anyone 
                                                                has any 
                                                                questions.  
                                                                If the students 
                                                                look unusually
                                                                energized or 
                                                                tired, I will 
                                                                ask them if 
                                                                something 
                                                                special is 
                                                                happening or 
                                                                commiserate with 
                                                                their 
                                                                tiredness.  
                                                                Often I pass a 
                                                                comic strip 
                                                                around.  After 
                                                                these first few 
                                                                moments, we may 
                                                                do one of two 
                                                                things.  If it 
                                                                is a 
                                                                group-activity 
                                                                day, I ask the 
                                                                students to 
                                                                number off into 
                                                                small groups of 
                                                                three to four 
                                                                people each.  
                                                                (In a computer 
                                                                lab, I have 
                                                                three students 
                                                                in a group 
                                                                gathered around 
                                                                one computer.)  
                                                                Next, I ask them 
                                                                to very briefly 
                                                                introduce 
                                                                themselves to 
                                                                each other and 
                                                                quickly choose 
                                                                their group 
                                                                roles 
                                                                (coordinator, 
                                                                writer, reader, 
                                                                and coach).  
                                                                Then I give them 
                                                                an invented 
                                                                situation that 
                                                                is related to 
                                                                the kind of 
                                                                writing we are 
                                                                studying at the 
                                                                time, and I ask 
                                                                them to write 
                                                                about it as a 
                                                                group.  for 
                                                                example, I might 
                                                                ask them to 
                                                                imagine that 
                                                                they are the 
                                                                heads of several 
                                                                corporations who 
                                                                have come 
                                                                together to 
                                                                write a position 
                                                                statement on a 
                                                                pressing 
                                                                community issue, 
                                                                or to imagine 
                                                                they are 
                                                                speechwriters 
                                                                for a candidate 
                                                                running for 
                                                                office.  On the 
                                                                blackboard, I 
                                                                write several 
                                                                steps for them 
                                                                to follow in 
                                                                writing their 
                                                                document, and 
                                                                when everyone is 
                                                                done, each 
                                                                group's result 
                                                                is read to the 
                                                                class.  Finally, 
                                                                I offer a brief 
                                                                explanation of 
                                                                how the activity 
                                                                prepares them 
                                                                for an 
                                                                assignment. 
                                                                
                                                                        If, 
                                                                on the other 
                                                                hand, I devote 
                                                                the hour to 
                                                                discussion and 
                                                                lecture, I 
                                                                usually have one 
                                                                or two 
                                                                changeups.  I 
                                                                always try to 
                                                                present material 
                                                                differently than 
                                                                does the 
                                                                textbook, often 
                                                                in a visual 
                                                                manner.  I may 
                                                                talk for ten or 
                                                                twenty minutes 
                                                                about the next 
                                                                writing 
                                                                assignment or 
                                                                about writing 
                                                                style, critical 
                                                                thinking, 
                                                                grammar, 
                                                                research, or 
                                                                punctuation.  
                                                                Sometimes I ask 
                                                                students to 
                                                                practice what we 
                                                                have discussed 
                                                                for five or ten 
                                                                minutes on 
                                                                notepads or 
                                                                computers, or I 
                                                                start 
                                                                discussions by 
                                                                asking students 
                                                                to write their 
                                                                own questions.  
                                                                Several times 
                                                                per term, I use 
                                                                a kinesthetic 
                                                                technique that I 
                                                                call a human 
                                                                tableau of 
                                                                writing to 
                                                                introduce a new 
                                                                type of paper: I 
                                                                ask several 
                                                                students to 
                                                                stand in various 
                                                                positions.  For 
                                                                example, if we 
                                                                are studying 
                                                                argument 
                                                                involving two or 
                                                                even three 
                                                                opposing 
                                                                viewpoints, I 
                                                                will have two or 
                                                                three students 
                                                                face each other 
                                                                to represent the 
                                                                viewpoints, and 
                                                                I will ask three 
                                                                more students to 
                                                                stand behind 
                                                                each of the 
                                                                central 
                                                                students, to 
                                                                represent 
                                                                supporting 
                                                                information. In 
                                                                addition, once 
                                                                or twice per 
                                                                term, I will 
                                                                have a brief, 
                                                                casual 
                                                                evaluation 
                                                                activity in 
                                                                which students 
                                                                write or speak 
                                                                about what they 
                                                                feel is working 
                                                                and not working 
                                                                in the class, 
                                                                and what they 
                                                                would change or 
                                                                like to see more 
                                                                of.   
                                                                 
                                                                
                                                                     In 
                                                                1983, I was a 
                                                                single father 
                                                                and freelance 
                                                                writer living in 
                                                                Little Falls.  
                                                                Some of my 
                                                                income came from 
                                                                outside work, 
                                                                and when I tried 
                                                                teaching 
                                                                  
                                                                    | 
                                                                     
                                                                    
                                                                    
                                                                    Working with 
                                                                    one of my 
                                                                    favorite 
                                                                    students | 
                                                                    
                                                                    community 
                                                                    education 
                                                                    and 
                                                                    teacher-training 
                                                                    courses, I 
                                                                    found I love 
                                                                    teaching.  
                                                                    I enrolled 
                                                                    at St. Cloud 
                                                                    State for a 
                                                                    graduate 
                                                                    degree (my 
                                                                    third), and 
                                                                    I became a 
                                                                    TA.  
                                                                    After 
                                                                    graduating 
                                                                    with a 4.0, 
                                                                    I worked as 
                                                                    an adjunct 
                                                                    there.  
                                                                    Several 
                                                                    years later, 
                                                                    I met and 
                                                                    eventually 
                                                                    married my 
                                                                    current 
                                                                    wife.  
                                                                    She has a 
                                                                    tenured 
                                                                    position 
                                                                    here in the 
                                                                    Twin Cities, 
                                                                    so my 
                                                                    children and 
                                                                    I moved 
                                                                    here, and I 
                                                                    worked at 
                                                                    several 
                                                                    colleges.  
                                                                    In 1996, the 
                                                                    University 
                                                                    of Minnesota 
                                                                    English 
                                                                    Department |  
                                                                
                                                                hired me to a 
                                                                full-time, 
                                                                indefinite 
                                                                position 
                                                                teaching first- 
                                                                and third-year 
                                                                composition and 
                                                                an occasional 
                                                                literature 
                                                                course.  I 
                                                                like my work, 
                                                                but in the 
                                                                future my job 
                                                                category may be 
                                                                subject to 
                                                                budgetary whims. 
                                                                
                                                                        As 
                                                                an English 
                                                                instructor, I 
                                                                have taught a 
                                                                wide array of 
                                                                courses, 
                                                                especially in 
                                                                writing.  My 
                                                                teaching methods 
                                                                draw on many 
                                                                sources, both 
                                                                experiential and 
                                                                scholarly.  My 
                                                                beginnings as a 
                                                                social worker 
                                                                and a freelance 
                                                                writer have been 
                                                                especially 
                                                                helpful.  I 
                                                                teach, often in 
                                                                groups, using 
                                                                contemporary 
                                                                methods: process 
                                                                writing, writing 
                                                                across the 
                                                                curriculum, and 
                                                                critical 
                                                                thinking in 
                                                                writing.  I 
                                                                have, in fact, 
                                                                worked closely 
                                                                as a colleague 
                                                                with the person 
                                                                who was one of 
                                                                the strongest 
                                                                forces in 
                                                                Minnesota in 
                                                                introducing 
                                                                writing across 
                                                                the curriculum 
                                                                to the 
                                                                state—Chris 
                                                                Anson, formerly 
                                                                at the 
                                                                University—and I 
                                                                am a good friend 
                                                                of Susan Jensen, 
                                                                formerly of 
                                                                IHCC, who 
                                                                introduced WAC 
                                                                to MCCS.  I also 
                                                                have team taught 
                                                                with Joel 
                                                                Peterson, who 
                                                                introduced 
                                                                critical 
                                                                thinking to MCCS/MnSCU.  
                                                                In the 
                                                                classroom, I use 
                                                                a relaxed, 
                                                                encouraging 
                                                                approach in 
                                                                which I try to 
                                                                help students 
                                                                have fun, work 
                                                                hard, and try a 
                                                                number of 
                                                                writing methods 
                                                                and skills.  My 
                                                                goal is to make 
                                                                them competent 
                                                                writers for 
                                                                other courses 
                                                                and for their 
                                                                professions, and 
                                                                to help them 
                                                                discover how to 
                                                                soar in their 
                                                                writing when 
                                                                they work hard.  
                                                                My reputation is 
                                                                that I am tough, 
                                                                fair, and fun.
                                                                 
                                                                
                                                                        Part 
                                                                of my strength 
                                                                in working with 
                                                                students lies in 
                                                                my early 
                                                                experiences in 
                                                                social work.  In 
                                                                my twenties, I 
                                                                directed a 
                                                                coffeehouse/drop-in 
                                                                center for young 
                                                                street people in 
                                                                Berkeley, 
                                                                California; I 
                                                                was a teen 
                                                                worker at 
                                                                Northeast 
                                                                Athletic Field 
                                                                in Minneapolis 
                                                                for East Side 
                                                                Neighborhood 
                                                                Services; I have 
                                                                also received 
                                                                professional 
                                                                training in 
                                                                working with 
                                                                teens and in 
                                                                underdeveloped 
                                                                communities.  In 
                                                                addition, I have 
                                                                taught 
                                                                multicultural 
                                                                writing at the U 
                                                                and 
                                                                developmental 
                                                                writing at two 
                                                                colleges.  Each 
                                                                fall, I continue 
                                                                to teach an 
                                                                overload course 
                                                                on "Becoming a 
                                                                Master Student" 
                                                                for Student 
                                                                Support Services 
                                                                at North 
                                                                Hennepin 
                                                                Community 
                                                                College. 
                                                                                                                                                    
                                                                 
                                                                
                                                                        In 
                                                                addition, I have 
                                                                started teaching 
                                                                online as part 
                                                                of one class, 
                                                                and I take my 
                                                                other classes 
                                                                into the 
                                                                computer lab 
                                                                once per week.  
                                                                I have my own 
                                                                extensive course 
                                                                Web site with a 
                                                                400-page (if 
                                                                printed) 
                                                                textbook (http://umn.edu/home/JeweL001).  
                                                                I also am the 
                                                                administrator of 
                                                                an extensive 
                                                                education Web 
                                                                site: the UM 
                                                                English 
                                                                Department's 
                                                                composition web 
                                                                site, which 
                                                                includes (among 
                                                                many other 
                                                                sections) an 
                                                                "Online Grammar 
                                                                Handbook" of 
                                                                URLs (
                                                                http://composition.cla.umn.edu 
                                                                
                                                                [Note in the 
                                                                Present: Several 
                                                                years after I 
                                                                left UM-TC, my 
                                                                version of this 
                                                                site was 
                                                                replaced by a 
                                                                newer version]). 
--- 
Return to top.
 
    
      | 
      
        | 
    Sample Three-B: Application Letter #2 |  
SPECIAL NOTES: The following is a cover letter as part of an 
application for a psychology job by a student who since has gone on to working 
on her Ph.D. in psychology.  Note that it contains all the elements 
recommended for a strong application, whether for a scholarship, a graduate 
degree, or a job: a strong story opening, then background details written in a 
personally meaningful but professional manner, and also a recognition paragraph 
that shows the writer has studied the company and understands exactly how and 
why she chose the company and can fit in well. 
                                                                
                                                                ---  
                                                                
                                                                                                                                               
                                                                August 23, 2012 
                                                                
                                                                The Hammer 
                                                                CompanyMinneapolis, 
                                                                Minnesota
 
                                                                
                                                                Dear Staff and 
                                                                Associates of 
                                                                Hammer,
 
                                                                
                                                                            
                                                                Every Monday I 
                                                                walk through the 
                                                                metal detectors, 
                                                                answer a series 
                                                                of questions for 
                                                                the watchmen on 
                                                                the other side 
                                                                of the glass, 
                                                                and hear the 
                                                                clanking of the 
                                                                heavy doors 
                                                                close behind me 
                                                                at the 
                                                                Minnesota, 
                                                                Faribault 
                                                                prison.  Reality 
                                                                really sinks in, 
                                                                as I fully 
                                                                comprehend that 
                                                                every human 
                                                                behavior has a 
                                                                consequential 
                                                                outcome, which 
                                                                can be positive 
                                                                or negative.  I 
                                                                go to the prison 
                                                                to meet with 
                                                                Jon, a level-two 
                                                                sex offender who 
                                                                has made 
                                                                decisions in his 
                                                                life that have 
                                                                landed him 
                                                                behind bars.  
                                                                However, Jon 
                                                                will soon be 
                                                                released out 
                                                                into the general 
                                                                population, and 
                                                                he needs support 
                                                                and a model for 
                                                                appropriate 
                                                                human behavior.  
                                                                I work with Jon 
                                                                so he can 
                                                                realize that he 
                                                                is a competent 
                                                                human being; I 
                                                                work with him to 
                                                                find the 
                                                                appropriate 
                                                                community 
                                                                resources to be 
                                                                successful once 
                                                                he is a free 
                                                                man.  
                                                                 
                                                                  
                                                                
                                                                            
                                                                People are 
                                                                constantly 
                                                                learning, even 
                                                                when not in a 
                                                                classroom.  
                                                                Every life 
                                                                experience is an 
                                                                opportunity to 
                                                                learn and to 
                                                                teach.  I do the 
                                                                best I can to 
                                                                combine my 
                                                                educational 
                                                                knowledge and my 
                                                                life 
                                                                experiences, and 
                                                                I find that that 
                                                                philosophy helps 
                                                                me go the 
                                                                furthest in 
                                                                pursuing my 
                                                                goals. 
                                                                  
                                                                
                                                                            My 
                                                                desire is to 
                                                                help promote my 
                                                                environment 
                                                                whether it is at 
                                                                my workplace or 
                                                                community, which 
                                                                is reflected in 
                                                                my willingness 
                                                                to go beyond 
                                                                what is 
                                                                expected.  Being 
                                                                a part of 
                                                                several 
                                                                non-profit 
                                                                organizations, I 
                                                                have had the 
                                                                wonderful 
                                                                experiences of 
                                                                helping my local 
                                                                community and of 
                                                                traveling 
                                                                abroad.  
                                                                Locally, I have 
                                                                been able to 
                                                                work with a wide 
                                                                variety of 
                                                                populations, 
                                                                ages, and ethnic 
                                                                backgrounds.  
                                                                Vicariously 
                                                                experiencing the 
                                                                lives of many 
                                                                different 
                                                                cultures has 
                                                                been more than 
                                                                rewarding.  
                                                                During my time 
                                                                in Africa, I was 
                                                                able to step 
                                                                outside of my 
                                                                comfort zone and 
                                                                learn how to 
                                                                live life a new 
                                                                way, from an 
                                                                entirely new 
                                                                perspective.  
                                                                While in 
                                                                Santander, 
                                                                Colombia, I 
                                                                volunteered my 
                                                                time in a 
                                                                low-income, 
                                                                after-school 
                                                                program.  I now 
                                                                am able to 
                                                                connect with 
                                                                many different 
                                                                classifications 
                                                                of people.   
                                                                  
                                                                
                                                                            I 
                                                                have worked with 
                                                                many variegated 
                                                                types of 
                                                                populations, and 
                                                                the problems 
                                                                each person has 
                                                                faced differ 
                                                                greatly.  I have 
                                                                alleviated 
                                                                crisis 
                                                                situations 
                                                                including sexual 
                                                                and domestic 
                                                                abuse 
                                                                incidents.  The 
                                                                people I have 
                                                                interacted with 
                                                                comprise 
                                                                individuals who 
                                                                possess general 
                                                                mental health 
                                                                concerns such as 
                                                                depression, 
                                                                anxiety, 
                                                                traumatic brain 
                                                                injury, 
                                                                post-traumatic 
                                                                stress disorder, 
                                                                and chemical 
                                                                dependency. I 
                                                                have worked with 
                                                                individuals 
                                                                while 
                                                                incorporating 
                                                                behavioral goals 
                                                                with their 
                                                                surrounding 
                                                                environments.  I 
                                                                have developed 
                                                                an ability to 
                                                                work well in 
                                                                high-stress 
                                                                situations at a 
                                                                very fast pace, 
                                                                and helping 
                                                                people is my 
                                                                motivation.  
                                                                Through multiple 
                                                                experiences, I 
                                                                have accumulated 
                                                                over 4000 hours 
                                                                of supervising 
                                                                and counseling 
                                                                related 
                                                                services. 
                                                                 
                                                                  
                                                                
                                                                            Now 
                                                                that I have 
                                                                obtained my 
                                                                bachelor's 
                                                                degree, I am 
                                                                ready for my 
                                                                next venture.  I 
                                                                am certain that 
                                                                this position at 
                                                                Hammer will be 
                                                                the perfect step 
                                                                to continue my 
                                                                psychology 
                                                                career.  I know 
                                                                I have the 
                                                                proper skills 
                                                                and ambition to 
                                                                succeed as a 
                                                                Direct Support 
                                                                Professional, 
                                                                and that Hammer 
                                                                will contribute 
                                                                greatly to my 
                                                                repertoire of 
                                                                knowledge and 
                                                                experience.  One 
                                                                of the qualities 
                                                                that struck me 
                                                                about this 
                                                                program is that 
                                                                it maintains 
                                                                such a holistic 
                                                                approach.  
                                                                People have the 
                                                                ability to 
                                                                receive 
                                                                assistance in 
                                                                multiple areas 
                                                                of their lives.  
                                                                Hammer not only 
                                                                helps 
                                                                individuals in 
                                                                their 
                                                                professional 
                                                                hopes but also 
                                                                provides support 
                                                                for mental, 
                                                                emotional, and 
                                                                community 
                                                                health, allowing 
                                                                each person to 
                                                                become 
                                                                self-reliant and 
                                                                empowered.  
                                                                Hammer seems to 
                                                                understand that 
                                                                systems work 
                                                                better when 
                                                                everyone is 
                                                                efficiently 
                                                                functioning 
                                                                within that 
                                                                system.  Overall 
                                                                it seems like a 
                                                                brilliant 
                                                                organization to 
                                                                both utilize and 
                                                                to work for. 
                                                                  
                                                                
                                                                Thank you for 
                                                                your time, and I 
                                                                look forward to 
                                                                hearing from you 
                                                                shortly. 
                                                                  
                                                                
                                                                Tamara C. Hill 
                                                                
                                                                [phone number] 
                                                                
                                                                [email address] 
--- 
Return to top. 
              
                                                                 
  
    
      | 
      
        | 
 Samples Four-A and Four-B: 
  
  
  
  
  
      Personal Statements 
  
  
      for University Entrance Applications |  
SAMPLE FOUR-A: PERSONAL STATEMENT
 
FOR A MEDICAL SCHOOL APPLICATION 
SPECIAL NOTES: An 
applicant to 
the University of Minnesota Medical School wrote this personal 
statement as part of her overall application.  She was immediately accepted, 
directly after receiving her bachelor's degree.  At the time of her 
application, her undergraduate GPA  was slightly lower than the average for 
recent entering classes. In addition, unlike perhaps a majority of those accepted, she did not 
first have to prove her interest by spending a year or more in a related job or 
another related master's degree program. 
  
  
While much of the credit for her getting 
into medical school at a young age was due to an otherwise excellent record, 
her personal statement, below, was a key part of her successful application.  
She spent much time on it, both on her own and with her instructor (twice), who 
made suggestions for improvements.  Like the application letters above, it 
well demonstrates the elements of a good, strong letter of this kind: a strong 
story introduction, background details that show professional skills wedded to 
personal convictions, and a paragraph clearly showing she understands what the 
graduate program entails and how she is is a particularly good candidate for it. 
--- 
Personal Statement: The Human Element of Medicine 
by Anonymous 
     
"Success," someone once said, "is knowing you have helped one
life breathe just a little more easily."  This
quote is very meaningful to me because it uniquely exemplifies my motivation to
pursue medicine. The experience that initially sparked my interest in medicine
occurred when I volunteered at the Children's Variety Hospital. There I met an
eight-year-old girl receiving treatment in the Pulmonary Unit. She was sitting
in a wheelchair, bloated from medication, and crying. In between sobs, she was
pleading, "I want to go home. I want to go home. Please, let me go
home?" I struggled to fight back tears. She had been in the hospital for
almost a month, and was in a great deal of pain. Her plea seemed like such a
simple request, a freedom that most people take for granted. I distracted her
from her unhappiness by engaging her in games and activities. It was rewarding
to have helped in some way, but I longed to do more. I wanted to be directly
involved in the process of helping her overcome her illness and go home. This
interaction inspired my desire to become a medical doctor. Since then, I have
pursued a variety of opportunities that have enriched my experiences within the
medical field and the Twin Cities community. 
        I volunteered with
Sexual Health Awareness and Disease Education (SHADE) and the Minnesota Aids
Project (MAP) because I felt I had the communication and people skills necessary
to assist in disease prevention. My first hand experience with implementing and
analyzing educational and behavioral intervention programs, as well as street
outreach efforts, have exposed me to a variety of preventative approaches. As a
sexual health educator for SHADE, I facilitated interactive presentations to
students addressing issues of sexuality, HIV/STD
protection, abstinence, and communication. I also conducted STD screening and
HIV counseling for Minneapolis high schools. As Special Events Coordinator, I
organized a weeklong effort (Safer Sex Week) to raise HIV/AIDS awareness on
campus. My volunteer work with MAP included contraceptive and information
dispersal, as well as recruitment targeting at risk populations for disease
prevention programs. Working with people diagnosed with HIV and AIDS exposed me
to the devastating effects of this disease on individuals, families, and
communities. I encountered people from diverse socioeconomic and cultural
backgrounds and learned that concern, empathy, and a warm smile have a magical
way of earning peoples' trust and making them comfortable when confiding their
health concerns. My ability to connect with people and respond to their needs in
a way that provided reassurance, support, and respect was
extremely rewarding. I am hopeful that preventative approaches such as these
have provided people with the skills necessary to protect themselves against the
emotional and physical pain that accompanies an illness. 
        Another area of
medicine that I have explored is infectious disease research. As a Biology and
Physiology major, I not only gained a solid foundation in the basic sciences,
but also developed strong critical thinking skills. I sought opportunities that
enhanced these skills. As an undergraduate, I became involved with a directed
research project and studied virulence factors of E. coli strains isolated from
canine fecal samples in order to test the hypothesis that dogs may serve as a
reservoir of virulent E. coli strains that cause urinary tract infections in
humans. I was also employed in a laboratory where I conducted a study comparing
the in vitro inhibitory activity of different types of antibiotic coated
catheters against susceptible and multidrug-resistant clinical bacterial
isolates. Currently, I am working full-time as a junior scientist. My projects
include a study examining the pathogenicity of bacterial strains isolated from
supermarket food samples. In addition, I am studying the ancestry of
virulence-associated genes in E. coli strains using PCR-based fingerprinting,
gene specific PCR assays, and Dot Blot Probe techniques to target 29 different
pathogenic factors. My research experiences have allowed me to become proficient
in the scientific mode of inquiry and to attain valuable troubleshooting and
technical skills. 
        My other community
services include volunteering as a Persian-English Translator where I have
helped people communicate in settings ranging from hospitals to automotive
dealerships. In addition, I have been involved with the YMCA Project Motivation
program as a big buddy of an at-risk inner city child. Through these two
activities, I have gained an understanding of how peoples' unique experiences
have shaped their attitudes and perspectives. I realized that it is critical to
take into account social and cultural influences when
providing services and health care to varying population groups. During the last
four years I have been employed at the New Student Programs Office at the
University of Minnesota where I have held numerous positions ranging from
orientating new students to hiring and training counselors to implement summer
camps. These positions gave me the invaluable experience of working very closely
with others in a group setting. I was put in situations working 18-hour days
while living with the people I worked with and learned the importance of
flexibility, open communication, and compromise. I also gained an appreciation
for the unique style of group interaction and leadership
of different individuals. 
        I believe that I am
an excellent candidate for your medical program, not only because of my
experiences, but also because of my high level of passion and commitment. I am
highly dedicated to all of the activities and organizations with which I am
involved and to the goals that I have set for myself. Throughout the last five
years I have worked to support myself through school, succeeded academically,
and been actively involved in my community. I am confidant that I have the
physical and emotional strength and self-discipline necessary to endure rigorous
demands, such as preparing for and working in a medical career, because it was 
in extreme situations that I attained the most personal growth.  
        Collectively my 
experiences have helped me perceive the human element of science. I enjoy 
working with people, and making a positive impact on the quality of peoples' 
lives gives me energy, motivation, and a sense of accomplishment. If given the 
opportunity, I believe I can make a significant contribution to the field of 
medicine. 
--- 
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SAMPLE FOUR-B: PERSONAL STATEMENT
 
FOR YALE UNIVERSITY MUSIC PROGRAM 
SPECIAL NOTES: It is not easy to get into Yale 
University's highly selective Performance Program. This applicant certainly had 
developed her piano skills--her resume for an 18-year-old was very impressive. 
However, she also spent a large amount of time working on this personal 
statement to make it just right, including working on it with two college 
teachers who were friends. It's also noteworthy that this applicant already had 
won the national John F. Kennedy Profiles in Courage Writing Contest for high 
school students. Her application to Yale was successful. 
--- 
Personal Statement: Go Play for Lois 
                                                                
                                                                by Zhen Tu 
                                                                
                                                                            A 
                                                                four-year-old 
                                                                girl stands 
                                                                between an 
                                                                elderly couple 
                                                                in China, 
                                                                preparing to 
                                                                cross the 
                                                                railroad tracks 
                                                                after a piano 
                                                                lesson. Tightly 
                                                                clasping her 
                                                                grandma’s hand, 
                                                                the girl hastens 
                                                                to the other 
                                                                side as fast as 
                                                                her feet can 
                                                                carry her. Her 
                                                                grandpa has a 
                                                                slow gait 
                                                                because of his 
                                                                deformed feet. 
                                                                He is still in 
                                                                the middle of 
                                                                the tracks when 
                                                                the blare of a 
                                                                train horn 
                                                                sounds in the 
                                                                distance. The 
                                                                girl panics, 
                                                                screaming at him 
                                                                to hurry up. 
                                                                When her grandpa 
                                                                finally crosses 
                                                                the tracks, she 
                                                                is flooded with 
                                                                relief.   
                                                                
                                                                            
                                                                Growing up six 
                                                                thousand miles 
                                                                away from my 
                                                                grandparents, I 
                                                                always missed 
                                                                them deeply. 
                                                                That void began 
                                                                to fill when I 
                                                                got to know 
                                                                Lois— my 
                                                                eighty-year-old 
                                                                neighbor—at one 
                                                                of my church 
                                                                performances in 
                                                                seventh grade. 
                                                                
                                                                            
                                                                Lois’s gentle 
                                                                nature, calm 
                                                                spirit, and 
                                                                genuine attempt 
                                                                to know my 
                                                                family led us to 
                                                                spend countless 
                                                                evenings 
                                                                together. She 
                                                                regaled us with 
                                                                stories of her 
                                                                late husband, 
                                                                who introduced 
                                                                her to classical 
                                                                music, and her 
                                                                experience 
                                                                teaching in a 
                                                                one-room school 
                                                                in rural 
                                                                Minnesota. I 
                                                                took note of her 
                                                                self-deprecating, 
                                                                lopsided smile 
                                                                when she 
                                                                indulged us in 
                                                                reminiscences of 
                                                                the past. Each 
                                                                time after I 
                                                                played piano for 
                                                                her, she would 
                                                                grasp my hands 
                                                                tightly in the 
                                                                middle of hers. 
                                                                Her eyes brimmed 
                                                                with joy as she 
                                                                convinced me 
                                                                that I was 
                                                                indeed the most 
                                                                accomplished 
                                                                pianist. 
                                                                
                                                                            
                                                                Lois’s declining 
                                                                health began to 
                                                                hinder her from 
                                                                regularly 
                                                                attending 
                                                                church, but she 
                                                                often made a 
                                                                special trip to 
                                                                hear me play. In 
                                                                the past, when 
                                                                people 
                                                                complimented me 
                                                                on my piano 
                                                                playing, I 
                                                                avoided their 
                                                                eyes with a 
                                                                muttered, 
                                                                inaudible 
                                                                “thanks” before 
                                                                tugging on my 
                                                                mother’s 
                                                                shirtsleeve and 
                                                                hustling away. 
                                                                As the years 
                                                                went by, “Go 
                                                                play for Lois” 
                                                                became a common 
                                                                household 
                                                                phrase, fueling 
                                                                my desire to 
                                                                play at church 
                                                                and easing the 
                                                                butterflies in 
                                                                my stomach 
                                                                before and after 
                                                                every 
                                                                performance.   
                                                                
                                                                            
                                                                Then, Lois moved 
                                                                to a nursing 
                                                                home. I felt a 
                                                                part of my 
                                                                family was 
                                                                ripped away. On 
                                                                her birthday, my 
                                                                brother and I 
                                                                surprised her 
                                                                with a piano 
                                                                recital at her 
                                                                nursing home. A 
                                                                few days later, 
                                                                Lois called and 
                                                                exclaimed with a 
                                                                tinge of 
                                                                disbelief, 
                                                                “Everyone wants 
                                                                to sit with me 
                                                                at lunch! They 
                                                                all want to know 
                                                                how my Chinese 
                                                                grandchildren 
                                                                are doing and 
                                                                when you are 
                                                                coming to see me 
                                                                again!” That 
                                                                began my monthly 
                                                                visits to 
                                                                Keystone Senior 
                                                                Living. 
                                                                
                                                                            Now, 
                                                                after playing on 
                                                                a rickety, 
                                                                out-of-tune 
                                                                piano in a 
                                                                dining hall, 
                                                                with dishes 
                                                                clanking and 
                                                                kitchen workers 
                                                                talking over one 
                                                                another, I move 
                                                                among a group of 
                                                                elderly 
                                                                citizens, 
                                                                joining the 
                                                                conversations 
                                                                while nibbling 
                                                                on an obligatory
                                                                cookie. 
                                                                One Austrian 
                                                                woman shares a 
                                                                personal 
                                                                dilemma: “I told 
                                                                myself I was 
                                                                going to stop 
                                                                driving when I 
                                                                turned ninety, 
                                                                but that’s 
                                                                tomorrow! I 
                                                                cannot do it!” A 
                                                                former Greek 
                                                                Orthodox priest 
                                                                gesticulates 
                                                                wildly as he 
                                                                chatters nonstop 
                                                                about everything 
                                                                ranging from the 
                                                                Korean War to 
                                                                suggestions for 
                                                                piano pieces I 
                                                                should learn. 
                                                                The corner of my 
                                                                mouth turns up 
                                                                into a smile 
                                                                while he goes 
                                                                on…. How he 
                                                                reminds me of my 
                                                                grandpa in 
                                                                China, who never 
                                                                hesitates to 
                                                                tell me what to 
                                                                do with my 
                                                                fingers despite 
                                                                his meager 
                                                                knowledge of 
                                                                classical music! 
                                                                A German lady 
                                                                with an uncanny 
                                                                resemblance to 
                                                                my grandma 
                                                                instinctively 
                                                                reaches out for 
                                                                a hug. Then, 
                                                                holding onto 
                                                                Lois’s arm, I 
                                                                walk her back to 
                                                                her room. 
                                                                
                                                                            I 
                                                                cannot help but 
                                                                feel indebted to 
                                                                Lois, who makes 
                                                                me realize how 
                                                                fortunate I am 
                                                                to play for 
                                                                Marietta from 
                                                                Austria, Theo 
                                                                the Greek 
                                                                Orthodox priest, 
                                                                Siegrid from 
                                                                Germany, and 
                                                                their friends. 
                                                                When I am 
                                                                onstage 
                                                                performing in 
                                                                front of unknown 
                                                                faces, I am no 
                                                                longer that shy, 
                                                                panicking young 
                                                                girl. I have 
                                                                Lois in my 
                                                                heart, prompting 
                                                                me to connect 
                                                                with the people 
                                                                around me and 
                                                                the world in me 
                                                                through music. 
                                                                “Go play for 
                                                                Lois” has taken 
                                                                on a whole new 
                                                                meaning. 
--- 
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