Chapter 54. APPLYING FOR JOBS
Sample Resumes, Cover
Letter,
and Personal Statements
---
Introduction
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|
Sample One: Resume by
Psychology Specialist |
SPECIAL NOTES: This strong, detailed resume was developed
for getting a job in psychology with just a bachelor's degree. It is
brief (one page) and to the point. It does not list all of the
candidate's job experiences, just those that are strongest--and are strongly
related specifically to the field of psychology. (Using a second major,
in English, she developed an entirely different resume just for looking for
tutoring jobs in English/literacy.) Since writing this, she has gone on
to a PhD program in psychology.
Her personal contact information has been removed
for privacy.
NOTE: The formatting for this has been changed to fit this web
page. Initially, she used what is sometimes called a "two-column"
method: in a narrow left column, she had her name and address, with nothing
but white space under it; then she had a vertical line separating the two
columns; and finally, her wider, right-hand column gave the details of her
resume, as below. The purpose of the "two-column" resume is to narrow
the length of the resume's lines, which, according to research, makes it
easier and faster for readers to read--as in newspaper columns.
Tamara C. Hill
[Street Address]
Minneapolis, Minnesota 55403
[Phone Number]
[Email]
Education |
University
of Minnesota
– Twin
Cities |
|
College of
Liberal Arts |
Graduated
Dec. 2011 |
· Bachelor
of Arts,
Psychology
and English
major
·
GPA 3.67
· Dean’s
List
· Independent
research and
studies
|
Sept.
2009-Dec.
2011 |
Inver Hills
Community
College |
Inver Grove
Heights, Mn |
· Associate
of Arts
· GPA
3.63 |
Graduated
May 2007
Aug.
2005-May
2007 |
· Phi
Theta Kappa
member |
|
· Gay-Straight-Alliance
Club member
and
treasurer |
|
Professional
Development/Volunteer
Experiences |
Neighborhood
Involvement
Program |
Minneapolis,
Mn |
Rape and
Sexual Abuse
Center
Counselor |
Sept.
2011-Present |
· Alleviate
a multitude
of crisis
situations
ranging from
individual
to familial
or
systemic-based
issues
· Perform
client
intakes for
mental
health
programs and
therapists
· Extensive
knowledge of
community
resources
and have
utilized
those
resources to
connect my
clients with
the
appropriate
intervention
and care
· One
hour of
weekly
supervision
by a M.A.
level
psychologist |
|
Minnesota
Department
of
Corrections
|
St. Paul, Mn |
MnCOSA
support
group |
Oct.
2011-Present |
· Useful
insight into
the process
of
corrections
with an
aspect
of mental
health
· Weekly
support
group
meetings
with sexual
offender
offer
experience
with group
therapy
|
KBD
Investments
|
St. Paul, Mn |
Community
Coordinator
|
Dec.
2010-Present |
· Coordinate
community
engagement
plan for low
income
neighborhoods
and minority
populations
· Experience
lowered
rates of
crime and
domestic
abuse within
housing
units
|
CommonBond |
Minneapolis,
Mn |
English as a
Second
Language
Adult Tutor |
Sept.
2010-Jan.
2011 |
· One-on-one
and group
support for
individuals
with a
paucity
of resources
· Had
experience
working with
a wide
variety of
literacy
levels as
well as
cultural
experiences
(ESL
Students)
|
One Village
Partners |
Minneapolis,
Mn |
Education
Committee
and
Fundraising
Committee
|
July
2008-Aug.
2009 |
· Supervised
process for
teacher’s
applications
for
government
payroll |
Sierra
Leone,
Africa |
· Managed
the
correspondence
between
three
village
schools |
May
2009-June
2009 |
· Alleviated
crisis and
systemic
issues
within the
community
and
continued
communication
via
telephone
conferencing |
|
Research
Experience |
Cognitive
Neuropsychology
Lab –
University
of Minnesota
Research
Assistant
|
May
2010-Dec.
2010 |
Undergraduate
Presentations |
University
of Minnesota
–
Undergraduate
English
Conf.
Metro State
University –
Genocide
Conference
|
April 2011
Nov. 2006
|
Certifications |
Collaborative
Internal
Review
Board (IRB)
Training
Minnesota
Literacy
Council |
CITI
certification
ESL Curr.
Develop. |
---
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|
Sample Two:
Resume by Education/Health Care Professional |
SPECIAL NOTES: This is an equally strong resume--in
slightly different form than the one above--by a professional education and
health care coordinator at the University of Minnesota. Formatting,
which originally was for an 8.5" by 11" page in MS Word, has been changed
to the size and format of this web page. Her personal contact information has
been removed for privacy.
NICKI L. BLACK
[Street Address]
·
Bloomington, MN
55437
·
[Phone Number]
[Email Address]
EDUCATION
University
of Minnesota
– Twin Cities,
Minneapolis, MN
M.A., Counseling
and Student
Personnel
Psychology, May
2004
Overall G.P.A.:
4.00/4.00
University
of Minnesota –
Twin Cities,
Minneapolis,
MN
B.A., Speech and
Language
Pathology, May
2000
Overall G.P.A.:
4.00/4.00
PROFESSIONAL
EXPERIENCE
University of
Minnesota – Twin
Cities,
Minneapolis, MN
Coordinator,
Admissions and
Diversity,
School of
Dentistry,
February
2007-Present.
Responsibilities:
·
Manage the
recruitment and
admissions
process for the
Doctor of Dental
Surgery (DDS)
and Bachelor of
Science in
Dental Hygiene
(DH) Programs.
·
Advise
traditional,
non-traditional,
underrepresented
minority, first
generation, and
low-income
students about
dental careers,
job placement,
and admissions.
·
Process
financial
transactions for
the office using
the Enterprise
Financial
System.
·
Prepare detailed
admissions
statistics for
use in tracking
application
trends.
·
Edit and
maintain the
admissions web
sites for the
DDS and DH
programs.
·
Create marketing
materials
designed to
attract high
quality
candidates to
the school’s
programs.
·
Write various
high-level
communications
to students,
faculty,
administrators,
and dental
professionals.
·
Facilitate an
ethics and
professionalism
course for first
year dental
students.
·
Counsel
applicants
who’ve been
denied admission
to the School of
Dentistry and
are seeking
feedback.
·
Oversee the peer
mentor program,
an effective
tool to help
entering
students make a
successful
transition into
their program.
·
Served as
co-investigator
in a study to
determine ways
to strengthen a
peer mentorship
program to
better serve
entering
students and
increase
retention.
·
Select and train
DDS students to
serve as
Ambassadors and
represent the
School of
Dentistry at
recruitment
fairs and
events.
·
Present
admissions and
career
information
sessions to
prospective
students several
times per month.
·
Collaborate with
financial aid
officer to
ensure students
understand the
options for
paying for their
education and
how to be
fiscally
responsible.
·
Organize and
host interview
days for
applicants and
oversee other
large-scale
School of
Dentistry events
(orientation,
recruitment
fairs, etc.).
·
Interview
candidates for
the DDS Program
and provide
feedback to the
Admissions
Committee.
Registrar and
Advising
Manager, Carlson
School of
Management,
July
2004-February
2007:
·
Provided
program
advisement to
800 Part-Time
Master of
Business
Administration
(MBA) students.
·
Addressed
student
inquiries
regarding
academic status
in program,
professional
portfolios,
degree
clearance,
course
selection,
course waivers,
and taking
courses outside
the program.
·
Trained new MBA
students in how
to use various
tools on the
Part-Time MBA
and University
of Minnesota web
sites.
·
Hosted MBA
professional
portfolio
information
sessions.
·
Maintained and
developed the
current student
web site for the
Part-Time MBA
program.
·
Developed
information on
the Part-Time
MBA web site
that marketed
the Carlson
School’s
diversity
initiatives.
·
Collaborated
with the Carlson
School’s
Marketing
Services team to
develop new
materials to
promote the
services offered
by the Part-Time
MBA program to
its students.
·
Managed the
Carlson Company
Scholarship
funds for
Part-Time MBA
students.
·
Teamed with
other Carlson
School staff to
plan and execute
the annual
graduation
commencement and
orientation.
Graduate Student
Academic
Counselor,
General College,
June 2003-July
2004
·
Served as an
academic
counselor to 100
undergraduates
from culturally
and
socioeconomically
diverse
backgrounds.
·
Developed an
understanding of
how academic and
non-academic
factors can
affect student
performance and
used holistic
advising
approach with
students.
·
Presented
information to
students
regarding
transfer,
degree, and
career planning.
·
Referred
students to
various
resources as
appropriate,
including
Disability
Services and
University
Counseling
and Consulting
Services.
·
Coordinated
new student
orientation and
registration.
·
Utilized
effective
retention
interventions
with high-risk
students.
·
Advised
students on
academic
probation and
suspension.
·
Addressed
unique advising
needs of student
athletes.
Student Support
Services
Assistant,
School of
Dentistry ,
November
2000-March 2003
·
Advised/counseled
pre-dental
students
individually and
in groups
regarding their
academic and
career plans.
·
Recruited
prospective
dental students
at
college/career
fairs.
·
Processed over
600 dental
school
applications per
application
cycle.
·
Provided
presentation of
dental career
information to
groups of
prospective
students.
· Organized
orientation
sessions and
graduation
ceremony for
dentistry
and
dental hygiene
students.
COMPUTER SKILLS
Proficient in
the use of
Excel, Word,
Access, Power
Point,
PeopleSoft,
Enterprise
Financial
System, Moodle,
email, online
calendaring
systems, web
content
management
systems,
Macintosh, PC,
and more.
---
Return to top.
|
Sample Three-A: Application Letter #1 |
SPECIAL NOTES: The following is the printed portion of the
application letter I used to gain my current position in 2001. However, I
have added photos to it—as I might do if I were applying now. --Richard Jewell
--- August
23, 2012
January
26, 2001
Search Committee
in English
Inver Hills
Community
College
Inver Grove
Heights,
Minnesota
To members of
the search
committee:
I am interested
in your
full-time,
permanent
position in
English. I
have quite a bit
of experience in
teaching
English, and I
deeply enjoy it.
I also have a
strong
background in
working with
diverse
cultures,
writing across
the curriculum,
and computer
technologies.
I would like to
start by
describing a
typical day in
one of my
classrooms in
"freshman comp"
or developmental
writing. I
try to arrive at
least five
minutes
early.
When I enter
the
classroom, I
say "good
morning" to
those
already
there.
If students
have not
already
created a
large circle
with their
chairs, I
ask them to
do so.
As I lay out
my papers,
typically
one or two
students
will come to
me and ask
questions,
which I
always am
glad to
answer.
When the
class
begins, if
it is the
first or
last day of
the week, I
will very
briefly
|
My students
working in
pairs |
review what is
due during that
week or the
next, and I’ll
ask if anyone
has any
questions.
If the students
look unusually
energized or
tired, I will
ask them if
something
special is
happening or
commiserate with
their
tiredness.
Often I pass a
comic strip
around. After
these first few
moments, we may
do one of two
things. If it
is a
group-activity
day, I ask the
students to
number off into
small groups of
three to four
people each.
(In a computer
lab, I have
three students
in a group
gathered around
one computer.)
Next, I ask them
to very briefly
introduce
themselves to
each other and
quickly choose
their group
roles
(coordinator,
writer, reader,
and coach).
Then I give them
an invented
situation that
is related to
the kind of
writing we are
studying at the
time, and I ask
them to write
about it as a
group. for
example, I might
ask them to
imagine that
they are the
heads of several
corporations who
have come
together to
write a position
statement on a
pressing
community issue,
or to imagine
they are
speechwriters
for a candidate
running for
office. On the
blackboard, I
write several
steps for them
to follow in
writing their
document, and
when everyone is
done, each
group's result
is read to the
class. Finally,
I offer a brief
explanation of
how the activity
prepares them
for an
assignment.
If,
on the other
hand, I devote
the hour to
discussion and
lecture, I
usually have one
or two
changeups. I
always try to
present material
differently than
does the
textbook, often
in a visual
manner. I may
talk for ten or
twenty minutes
about the next
writing
assignment or
about writing
style, critical
thinking,
grammar,
research, or
punctuation.
Sometimes I ask
students to
practice what we
have discussed
for five or ten
minutes on
notepads or
computers, or I
start
discussions by
asking students
to write their
own questions.
Several times
per term, I use
a kinesthetic
technique that I
call a human
tableau of
writing to
introduce a new
type of paper: I
ask several
students to
stand in various
positions. For
example, if we
are studying
argument
involving two or
even three
opposing
viewpoints, I
will have two or
three students
face each other
to represent the
viewpoints, and
I will ask three
more students to
stand behind
each of the
central
students, to
represent
supporting
information. In
addition, once
or twice per
term, I will
have a brief,
casual
evaluation
activity in
which students
write or speak
about what they
feel is working
and not working
in the class,
and what they
would change or
like to see more
of.
In
1983, I was a
single father
and freelance
writer living in
Little Falls.
Some of my
income came from
outside work,
and when I tried
teaching
Working with
one of my
favorite
students |
community
education
and
teacher-training
courses, I
found I love
teaching.
I enrolled
at St. Cloud
State for a
graduate
degree (my
third), and
I became a
TA.
After
graduating
with a 4.0,
I worked as
an adjunct
there.
Several
years later,
I met and
eventually
married my
current
wife.
She has a
tenured
position
here in the
Twin Cities,
so my
children and
I moved
here, and I
worked at
several
colleges.
In 1996, the
University
of Minnesota
English
Department |
hired me to a
full-time,
indefinite
position
teaching first-
and third-year
composition and
an occasional
literature
course. I
like my work,
but in the
future my job
category may be
subject to
budgetary whims.
As
an English
instructor, I
have taught a
wide array of
courses,
especially in
writing. My
teaching methods
draw on many
sources, both
experiential and
scholarly. My
beginnings as a
social worker
and a freelance
writer have been
especially
helpful. I
teach, often in
groups, using
contemporary
methods: process
writing, writing
across the
curriculum, and
critical
thinking in
writing. I
have, in fact,
worked closely
as a colleague
with the person
who was one of
the strongest
forces in
Minnesota in
introducing
writing across
the curriculum
to the
state—Chris
Anson, formerly
at the
University—and I
am a good friend
of Susan Jensen,
formerly of
IHCC, who
introduced WAC
to MCCS. I also
have team taught
with Joel
Peterson, who
introduced
critical
thinking to MCCS/MnSCU.
In the
classroom, I use
a relaxed,
encouraging
approach in
which I try to
help students
have fun, work
hard, and try a
number of
writing methods
and skills. My
goal is to make
them competent
writers for
other courses
and for their
professions, and
to help them
discover how to
soar in their
writing when
they work hard.
My reputation is
that I am tough,
fair, and fun.
Part
of my strength
in working with
students lies in
my early
experiences in
social work. In
my twenties, I
directed a
coffeehouse/drop-in
center for young
street people in
Berkeley,
California; I
was a teen
worker at
Northeast
Athletic Field
in Minneapolis
for East Side
Neighborhood
Services; I have
also received
professional
training in
working with
teens and in
underdeveloped
communities. In
addition, I have
taught
multicultural
writing at the U
and
developmental
writing at two
colleges. Each
fall, I continue
to teach an
overload course
on "Becoming a
Master Student"
for Student
Support Services
at North
Hennepin
Community
College.
In
addition, I have
started teaching
online as part
of one class,
and I take my
other classes
into the
computer lab
once per week.
I have my own
extensive course
Web site with a
400-page (if
printed)
textbook (http://umn.edu/home/JeweL001).
I also am the
administrator of
an extensive
education Web
site: the UM
English
Department's
composition web
site, which
includes (among
many other
sections) an
"Online Grammar
Handbook" of
URLs (
http://composition.cla.umn.edu
[Note in the
Present: Several
years after I
left UM-TC, my
version of this
site was
replaced by a
newer version]).
---
Return to top.
|
Sample Three-B: Application Letter #2 |
SPECIAL NOTES: The following is a cover letter as part of an
application for a psychology job by a student who since has gone on to working
on her Ph.D. in psychology. Note that it contains all the elements
recommended for a strong application, whether for a scholarship, a graduate
degree, or a job: a strong story opening, then background details written in a
personally meaningful but professional manner, and also a recognition paragraph
that shows the writer has studied the company and understands exactly how and
why she chose the company and can fit in well.
---
August 23, 2012
The Hammer
Company
Minneapolis,
Minnesota
Dear Staff and
Associates of
Hammer,
Every Monday I
walk through the
metal detectors,
answer a series
of questions for
the watchmen on
the other side
of the glass,
and hear the
clanking of the
heavy doors
close behind me
at the
Minnesota,
Faribault
prison. Reality
really sinks in,
as I fully
comprehend that
every human
behavior has a
consequential
outcome, which
can be positive
or negative. I
go to the prison
to meet with
Jon, a level-two
sex offender who
has made
decisions in his
life that have
landed him
behind bars.
However, Jon
will soon be
released out
into the general
population, and
he needs support
and a model for
appropriate
human behavior.
I work with Jon
so he can
realize that he
is a competent
human being; I
work with him to
find the
appropriate
community
resources to be
successful once
he is a free
man.
People are
constantly
learning, even
when not in a
classroom.
Every life
experience is an
opportunity to
learn and to
teach. I do the
best I can to
combine my
educational
knowledge and my
life
experiences, and
I find that that
philosophy helps
me go the
furthest in
pursuing my
goals.
My
desire is to
help promote my
environment
whether it is at
my workplace or
community, which
is reflected in
my willingness
to go beyond
what is
expected. Being
a part of
several
non-profit
organizations, I
have had the
wonderful
experiences of
helping my local
community and of
traveling
abroad.
Locally, I have
been able to
work with a wide
variety of
populations,
ages, and ethnic
backgrounds.
Vicariously
experiencing the
lives of many
different
cultures has
been more than
rewarding.
During my time
in Africa, I was
able to step
outside of my
comfort zone and
learn how to
live life a new
way, from an
entirely new
perspective.
While in
Santander,
Colombia, I
volunteered my
time in a
low-income,
after-school
program. I now
am able to
connect with
many different
classifications
of people.
I
have worked with
many variegated
types of
populations, and
the problems
each person has
faced differ
greatly. I have
alleviated
crisis
situations
including sexual
and domestic
abuse
incidents. The
people I have
interacted with
comprise
individuals who
possess general
mental health
concerns such as
depression,
anxiety,
traumatic brain
injury,
post-traumatic
stress disorder,
and chemical
dependency. I
have worked with
individuals
while
incorporating
behavioral goals
with their
surrounding
environments. I
have developed
an ability to
work well in
high-stress
situations at a
very fast pace,
and helping
people is my
motivation.
Through multiple
experiences, I
have accumulated
over 4000 hours
of supervising
and counseling
related
services.
Now
that I have
obtained my
bachelor's
degree, I am
ready for my
next venture. I
am certain that
this position at
Hammer will be
the perfect step
to continue my
psychology
career. I know
I have the
proper skills
and ambition to
succeed as a
Direct Support
Professional,
and that Hammer
will contribute
greatly to my
repertoire of
knowledge and
experience. One
of the qualities
that struck me
about this
program is that
it maintains
such a holistic
approach.
People have the
ability to
receive
assistance in
multiple areas
of their lives.
Hammer not only
helps
individuals in
their
professional
hopes but also
provides support
for mental,
emotional, and
community
health, allowing
each person to
become
self-reliant and
empowered.
Hammer seems to
understand that
systems work
better when
everyone is
efficiently
functioning
within that
system. Overall
it seems like a
brilliant
organization to
both utilize and
to work for.
Thank you for
your time, and I
look forward to
hearing from you
shortly.
Tamara C. Hill
[phone number]
[email address]
---
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|
Samples Four-A and Four-B:
Personal Statements
for University Entrance Applications |
SAMPLE FOUR-A: PERSONAL STATEMENT
FOR A MEDICAL SCHOOL APPLICATION
SPECIAL NOTES: An
applicant to
the University of Minnesota Medical School wrote this personal
statement as part of her overall application. She was immediately accepted,
directly after receiving her bachelor's degree. At the time of her
application, her undergraduate GPA was slightly lower than the average for
recent entering classes. In addition, unlike perhaps a majority of those accepted, she did not
first have to prove her interest by spending a year or more in a related job or
another related master's degree program.
While much of the credit for her getting
into medical school at a young age was due to an otherwise excellent record,
her personal statement, below, was a key part of her successful application.
She spent much time on it, both on her own and with her instructor (twice), who
made suggestions for improvements. Like the application letters above, it
well demonstrates the elements of a good, strong letter of this kind: a strong
story introduction, background details that show professional skills wedded to
personal convictions, and a paragraph clearly showing she understands what the
graduate program entails and how she is is a particularly good candidate for it.
---
Personal Statement: The Human Element of Medicine
by Anonymous
"Success," someone once said, "is knowing you have helped one
life breathe just a little more easily." This
quote is very meaningful to me because it uniquely exemplifies my motivation to
pursue medicine. The experience that initially sparked my interest in medicine
occurred when I volunteered at the Children's Variety Hospital. There I met an
eight-year-old girl receiving treatment in the Pulmonary Unit. She was sitting
in a wheelchair, bloated from medication, and crying. In between sobs, she was
pleading, "I want to go home. I want to go home. Please, let me go
home?" I struggled to fight back tears. She had been in the hospital for
almost a month, and was in a great deal of pain. Her plea seemed like such a
simple request, a freedom that most people take for granted. I distracted her
from her unhappiness by engaging her in games and activities. It was rewarding
to have helped in some way, but I longed to do more. I wanted to be directly
involved in the process of helping her overcome her illness and go home. This
interaction inspired my desire to become a medical doctor. Since then, I have
pursued a variety of opportunities that have enriched my experiences within the
medical field and the Twin Cities community.
I volunteered with
Sexual Health Awareness and Disease Education (SHADE) and the Minnesota Aids
Project (MAP) because I felt I had the communication and people skills necessary
to assist in disease prevention. My first hand experience with implementing and
analyzing educational and behavioral intervention programs, as well as street
outreach efforts, have exposed me to a variety of preventative approaches. As a
sexual health educator for SHADE, I facilitated interactive presentations to
students addressing issues of sexuality, HIV/STD
protection, abstinence, and communication. I also conducted STD screening and
HIV counseling for Minneapolis high schools. As Special Events Coordinator, I
organized a weeklong effort (Safer Sex Week) to raise HIV/AIDS awareness on
campus. My volunteer work with MAP included contraceptive and information
dispersal, as well as recruitment targeting at risk populations for disease
prevention programs. Working with people diagnosed with HIV and AIDS exposed me
to the devastating effects of this disease on individuals, families, and
communities. I encountered people from diverse socioeconomic and cultural
backgrounds and learned that concern, empathy, and a warm smile have a magical
way of earning peoples' trust and making them comfortable when confiding their
health concerns. My ability to connect with people and respond to their needs in
a way that provided reassurance, support, and respect was
extremely rewarding. I am hopeful that preventative approaches such as these
have provided people with the skills necessary to protect themselves against the
emotional and physical pain that accompanies an illness.
Another area of
medicine that I have explored is infectious disease research. As a Biology and
Physiology major, I not only gained a solid foundation in the basic sciences,
but also developed strong critical thinking skills. I sought opportunities that
enhanced these skills. As an undergraduate, I became involved with a directed
research project and studied virulence factors of E. coli strains isolated from
canine fecal samples in order to test the hypothesis that dogs may serve as a
reservoir of virulent E. coli strains that cause urinary tract infections in
humans. I was also employed in a laboratory where I conducted a study comparing
the in vitro inhibitory activity of different types of antibiotic coated
catheters against susceptible and multidrug-resistant clinical bacterial
isolates. Currently, I am working full-time as a junior scientist. My projects
include a study examining the pathogenicity of bacterial strains isolated from
supermarket food samples. In addition, I am studying the ancestry of
virulence-associated genes in E. coli strains using PCR-based fingerprinting,
gene specific PCR assays, and Dot Blot Probe techniques to target 29 different
pathogenic factors. My research experiences have allowed me to become proficient
in the scientific mode of inquiry and to attain valuable troubleshooting and
technical skills.
My other community
services include volunteering as a Persian-English Translator where I have
helped people communicate in settings ranging from hospitals to automotive
dealerships. In addition, I have been involved with the YMCA Project Motivation
program as a big buddy of an at-risk inner city child. Through these two
activities, I have gained an understanding of how peoples' unique experiences
have shaped their attitudes and perspectives. I realized that it is critical to
take into account social and cultural influences when
providing services and health care to varying population groups. During the last
four years I have been employed at the New Student Programs Office at the
University of Minnesota where I have held numerous positions ranging from
orientating new students to hiring and training counselors to implement summer
camps. These positions gave me the invaluable experience of working very closely
with others in a group setting. I was put in situations working 18-hour days
while living with the people I worked with and learned the importance of
flexibility, open communication, and compromise. I also gained an appreciation
for the unique style of group interaction and leadership
of different individuals.
I believe that I am
an excellent candidate for your medical program, not only because of my
experiences, but also because of my high level of passion and commitment. I am
highly dedicated to all of the activities and organizations with which I am
involved and to the goals that I have set for myself. Throughout the last five
years I have worked to support myself through school, succeeded academically,
and been actively involved in my community. I am confidant that I have the
physical and emotional strength and self-discipline necessary to endure rigorous
demands, such as preparing for and working in a medical career, because it was
in extreme situations that I attained the most personal growth.
Collectively my
experiences have helped me perceive the human element of science. I enjoy
working with people, and making a positive impact on the quality of peoples'
lives gives me energy, motivation, and a sense of accomplishment. If given the
opportunity, I believe I can make a significant contribution to the field of
medicine.
---
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SAMPLE FOUR-B: PERSONAL STATEMENT
FOR YALE UNIVERSITY MUSIC PROGRAM
SPECIAL NOTES: It is not easy to get into Yale
University's highly selective Performance Program. This applicant certainly had
developed her piano skills--her resume for an 18-year-old was very impressive.
However, she also spent a large amount of time working on this personal
statement to make it just right, including working on it with two college
teachers who were friends. It's also noteworthy that this applicant already had
won the national John F. Kennedy Profiles in Courage Writing Contest for high
school students. Her application to Yale was successful.
---
Personal Statement: Go Play for Lois
by Zhen Tu
A
four-year-old
girl stands
between an
elderly couple
in China,
preparing to
cross the
railroad tracks
after a piano
lesson. Tightly
clasping her
grandma’s hand,
the girl hastens
to the other
side as fast as
her feet can
carry her. Her
grandpa has a
slow gait
because of his
deformed feet.
He is still in
the middle of
the tracks when
the blare of a
train horn
sounds in the
distance. The
girl panics,
screaming at him
to hurry up.
When her grandpa
finally crosses
the tracks, she
is flooded with
relief.
Growing up six
thousand miles
away from my
grandparents, I
always missed
them deeply.
That void began
to fill when I
got to know
Lois— my
eighty-year-old
neighbor—at one
of my church
performances in
seventh grade.
Lois’s gentle
nature, calm
spirit, and
genuine attempt
to know my
family led us to
spend countless
evenings
together. She
regaled us with
stories of her
late husband,
who introduced
her to classical
music, and her
experience
teaching in a
one-room school
in rural
Minnesota. I
took note of her
self-deprecating,
lopsided smile
when she
indulged us in
reminiscences of
the past. Each
time after I
played piano for
her, she would
grasp my hands
tightly in the
middle of hers.
Her eyes brimmed
with joy as she
convinced me
that I was
indeed the most
accomplished
pianist.
Lois’s declining
health began to
hinder her from
regularly
attending
church, but she
often made a
special trip to
hear me play. In
the past, when
people
complimented me
on my piano
playing, I
avoided their
eyes with a
muttered,
inaudible
“thanks” before
tugging on my
mother’s
shirtsleeve and
hustling away.
As the years
went by, “Go
play for Lois”
became a common
household
phrase, fueling
my desire to
play at church
and easing the
butterflies in
my stomach
before and after
every
performance.
Then, Lois moved
to a nursing
home. I felt a
part of my
family was
ripped away. On
her birthday, my
brother and I
surprised her
with a piano
recital at her
nursing home. A
few days later,
Lois called and
exclaimed with a
tinge of
disbelief,
“Everyone wants
to sit with me
at lunch! They
all want to know
how my Chinese
grandchildren
are doing and
when you are
coming to see me
again!” That
began my monthly
visits to
Keystone Senior
Living.
Now,
after playing on
a rickety,
out-of-tune
piano in a
dining hall,
with dishes
clanking and
kitchen workers
talking over one
another, I move
among a group of
elderly
citizens,
joining the
conversations
while nibbling
on an obligatory
cookie.
One Austrian
woman shares a
personal
dilemma: “I told
myself I was
going to stop
driving when I
turned ninety,
but that’s
tomorrow! I
cannot do it!” A
former Greek
Orthodox priest
gesticulates
wildly as he
chatters nonstop
about everything
ranging from the
Korean War to
suggestions for
piano pieces I
should learn.
The corner of my
mouth turns up
into a smile
while he goes
on…. How he
reminds me of my
grandpa in
China, who never
hesitates to
tell me what to
do with my
fingers despite
his meager
knowledge of
classical music!
A German lady
with an uncanny
resemblance to
my grandma
instinctively
reaches out for
a hug. Then,
holding onto
Lois’s arm, I
walk her back to
her room.
I
cannot help but
feel indebted to
Lois, who makes
me realize how
fortunate I am
to play for
Marietta from
Austria, Theo
the Greek
Orthodox priest,
Siegrid from
Germany, and
their friends.
When I am
onstage
performing in
front of unknown
faces, I am no
longer that shy,
panicking young
girl. I have
Lois in my
heart, prompting
me to connect
with the people
around me and
the world in me
through music.
“Go play for
Lois” has taken
on a whole new
meaning.
---
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